Clearing the air - My departure from Liberty Restoration Project

I have tried my best to spend the last 3 years not speaking much of LRP.

Unfortunately, I have been told by multiple people that LRP's official word about me is that I was "kicked out for making a pass at Catherine Bleish"

The following is the transcript of the 2009 Email and the conversation that followed in which I stepped down as LRP's area director. Notice how there is no mention of improper personal boundaries.
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I have so many reservations placing these sentiments in black and white, when pondering on the responses I have gotten in the past when focusing on issues of concern.  My hope is that my feelings will come out and not just words, that my passion will not lead you to conclusions, but merely help to quantify my state of mind. I know that I've been very negative the past few months in a lot of my discussions, and I am really questioning my paradigms on a daily basis.

Six months ago I was the poster boy for optimism, so honoured to be in your company, to be an ally in the good fight. Doing the right thing felt so rewarding.  Lately I feel so lonely and empty.  I've never before been one to let loneliness stop me from a hobby or project, however these issues we tackle are of such moral importance that I am starting to feel mentally lost.

When I accepted the position of KC Area Director of LRP I did so out of reservation, for I did not feel neither qualified nor worthy of a leadership role.  I did feel the need to do more for the organization however, and out of my love for giving, I chose to accept a huge responsibility.

When I took on these responsibilities, I wanted to find my niche.  I had to settle in with what I felt was a tried and true way to fight a tyrannical system.  A few months back, the issues with my participation level seemed to ferment out of what seemed like nowhere to me.

I have sat up most mornings crying for the state of things, not fully understanding why.  There is only one thing I put above LRP and that is my family.  Times have been extremely trying for most of our peers over the last year, and you are aware that my family is no different.  I went through a great bout of depression and loneliness during the late summer, one that nearly killed me spiritually.

I have settled in nicely into a life that I'm comfortable with, however, those feelings of loneliness have persisted and grown.  I drive myself crazy trying to figure out why and I can only point at myself for the answer.  There is something about what LRP KC has become that is inherently mine, something that seems to cause this organization harm.  I tried to find my niche within the movement and the movement does not agree.

I keep telling myself that it's just me and my style.  It's obviously not for everyone and everyone has a different opinion of what Activism is.

I'm really questioning why I even continue to fight on an almost daily basis lately, for in my loneliness, I have lost the main thing that has kept me going. My faith.

I have become so negative and cynical that I'm on the brink of agreeing with the eugenicists.  I truly believe that LRP is on the right track and that this organization holds the one elite, perfected form of patriotism in the Kansas City Area.

I have never been a numbers guy, and I've always contended that I will be doing this forever, even by myself if I have to, performing the most mundane and repetitive tasks, without thanks, payment, or recognition.

However, my greatest hopes were to turn this organization around a rough corner.  My first attempt was to reach out to people, attempting to create coalitions thinking that our allies in the movement would help raise the bar and continue to set the blueprint for liberty that we set forth.  I feel very foolish, as it seems every other of our allies are in the same position that I am, trying to motivate "followers" to do anything more than sit in back rooms and make phone calls. So trying to build coalitions with the few hard working organizations was not getting very far in spreading the needed fight.

My second attempt was to go into overdrive with easy activities showing how hardworking and righteous we can be, in hopes that easy, good action would attract the people who can spot the good fruits of good labour and make them want to latch onto us.

It seems every where I turn lately my heart is broken and my hope is being shattered. I knew what I was getting into, a thankless lonely fight, but I had no clue that it would affect me in such ways.

Again, I went into this with the ultimate optimism and love, and today I see pain and hate just constantly brewing in me.

I know it has a lot to do with my focus, but you also cannot help but to focus on what you see and I see a lot of pain lately.

I assumed that I was allowed in this role because of some level of vision and wisdom, and at every turn, I just feel like my ideas and guidance blow up in my face in failure.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing repetitively expecting different results.  

The truth be told I'm just sick of the "Movie Night" and "Beer Chat" activists.  Just being in their presence makes me sick of doing this.  And being by myself on street corners on cold lonely nights after spending 80% of my effort advertising our actions, is only a constant reminder of how many people would rather go to a bar or movie night and play the victim.

Look at the Tea Party movement, what could have been a great opportunity for the nation to wake up, was taken over by media and party hacks and turned into a bitch fest with no action plan.

And now our Christmas party. Our chance to have a great networking opportunity and give thanks to our community during a time of Christmas Joy is being turned into a beer night and fundraiser.

$10 at the door to share in the holiday spirit (err we mean Wine and Spirits)

ugh. 

For so long I was criticized for my lack of outreach, and now we've come full circle.  I have had people contact me almost daily asking what LRP is doing for the holidays and wanting to collaborate.  I have no clue what to do because what started as a plan for LRP KC was un/overplanned due to Scheduling and Fundraising needs for Operation Defuse.

While the cause and plan for Operation Defuse is a noble one, the scheduling and fundraising needs have come at probably the most unfortunate time of year.

"Localize" indeed?

What was once an LRP Family is now a traveling circus.

Pay your $10 and buy a raffle ticket once inside.

See the clown for your balloons.

Actually I take that back, I don't want to offend the circus, because having a circus to wake people up would be more effective than the current strategy.

I look forward to the core team gathering at Gabe's but I will not participate in the Fundraiser and after Operation Defuse I will step down as Area Director.

This does not mean I am stepping away from LRP or stepping away from the movement, on the contrary, I just do not have the leadership skills to focus on true First Amendment activities and still appeal to the rest of the world who just wants to watch movies and drink beers.

This will allow for Tracy or Gabe to step up, both who have great vision and ideas for how to keep this train rolling, and both have great patience and tolerance of "the casuals"

This will also allow me to direct a greater focus on my street action without the distraction of participation levels, and allow me to focus on my campaign in 2010.

I don't want this to be seen as an attack on anyone because I do understand why things are going this way, I'm just offering an opinion as to why I can't be a part of it.

When Bryon and Nick left, I told them one thing that still holds true, LRP is what you make of it, and I put in everything I have and more.  I have great visions for what I could do with an active chapter of LRP, but I cannot get us to that point.

Kansas City Missouri is quickly becoming a lost cause, and solo activism seems to be what is calling me because that seems to be nearly my role as LRP leadership, but at least solo I won't need to do the extra promoting of my work as a group effort.  And I'll never run the risk of not giving Gabe or Tracy the credit they deserve.

I feel really bad that I was the only face of LRP during the Fed rally last month.  I had hoped that the two of you (and even Kent or David) would have participated because you all deserve great credit for the work you do in the organization.  I should have at least mentioned you and I feel guilty for not doing so. That event was not about me, and I did not mean for the appearances to be such.  It was a crazy busy week for me.

I love you all, and pray for continued success. 

Happy Holidays,
Kevindonttreadoncat: Hey, I hope you know I still love you, brother, no matter anyone's role in LRP, you are always my friend and always my brother and I will always stand shoulder to shoulder with you

10:06 PM me: Sure that won't get in the way of the "Brand"

  ?

 donttreadoncat: ????

10:07 PM me: So what is an "Official Document?"

  please humor me

  I am so done with the image bullshit

10:08 PM the fundraising bullshit

 donttreadoncat: I'd say stuff we're handing out to the public, paper and documents, etc.......

 me: what happened to the loose band of family

  ok

  so

 donttreadoncat: Kev, changing a logo is like changing an organzation's name

 me: the website would be classified as an official document

 donttreadoncat: it'd be like calling us the freedom restoration project

  I"m not saying a word about how we behave when it comes to imaging, I like being radical

 me: what does Google do every holiday, Catherine?

 donttreadoncat: I'm just saying lets be consistent with our logo

10:09 PM me: Does coke not have holiday cans?

  get some fucking fun spirit and quit trying to run this like its the United fucking way

 donttreadoncat: they do, but to change a logo for a season is something we need to approve as a group, in my opinion

 me: which I tried to do but someone was busy videoing waves to respond to a fucking email

10:10 PM kinda ran out of time

  had shit to promote

 donttreadoncat: KEVIN I'M ON A PERSONAL VACATION FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS. This conversation is starting out counter productive, if you want to talk to me, then lets talk

 me: but its okay

 donttreadoncat: OK, it is my opinion we should not be changing the logo

 me: I wont promote shit anymore

 donttreadoncat: Okay, take a deep breath, lets talk about this when we both have cool heads

  I feel like I am being misunderstood and being blown up at

  and I do not feel that I have done anything wrong

10:11 PM me: My head will be cool when I pay LRP back the money I owe it and my phone number is taken off the website

 donttreadoncat: I was not being antagonistic, and it seems others in the group agree on the logo thing

  it was not a personal attack

  What money do you owe LRP?

 me: shirts phone

 donttreadoncat: And your number is not on LPR, LRP's number is on LRP

10:12 PM me: ok I'll give up the phone and get my own

  I dont give a shit

 donttreadoncat: I am rather confused, I feel like you are unleashing some anger at me and I don't understand why

 me: I just left a fun event to come home and deal with this

 donttreadoncat: but I understand that you are upset and I respect your descisions

 me: This is NOT A BRAND TO ME

 donttreadoncat: You didn't need to do that

10:13 PM me: We are not fucking ROBOTS

  this is NOT THE UNITED WAY

 donttreadoncat: I agree

  I agree

  but I still REALLY like our logo

  and if you want me to be frank, I don't like the graphic changes you made

  just stylisticlly

10:14 PM me: so MAKE A FUCKING FLIER YOURSELF BEFORE WE HAVE ANOTHER EVENT TO GO TO

 donttreadoncat: I have and do make fliers kev

  lots of them

  just made one 3 days ago for LOLA

  made some in StL

  and in KC

 me: good thing you share them

 donttreadoncat: ?

  what do you mean?

 me: glad we get to APPROVE OF THEM

10:15 PM donttreadoncat: Kevin, I'm just talkinga bout the LOGO

  nothing else on the flier

 me: sounds to me like I'm the only one who asks for fucking permission

 donttreadoncat: ????

 me: today the logo, tomorrow something else "Brand" related

 donttreadoncat: Kevin, I can tell you are upset and I am sorry that I have obviously contributed to that

  no, our name, our logo, our core issues, that's LRP

10:16 PM me: Used to be the PEOPLE made LRP

  Fuck the logo

 donttreadoncat: it will always be the people

 me: I dont recognize what it stands for anymore

 donttreadoncat: OK

  I don't know what to say Kevin

  Your anger is coming out of left feild to me

 me: theres nothing to say, I said it

10:17 PM there is nothing to "Brand" for if the brand comes before the work or the people

10:18 PM donttreadoncat: Kev, I want the idea of LRP to live on until the job is done, no matter who is involved, LRP is not me, it is not you, yet it is all of us at the same time.

  I don't think keeping a logo consistent is such a bad thing to ask

  and if it is something that upsets you I am sorry

  I try to run all of our dieas by folks, that why I have google docs and google wave stuff set up

10:19 PM and I am sorry that it upset you that I was not checking my email on my personal vacation

  although I do feel I am spending more time working than any other living being would on a nonwork trip

 me: its not a bad thing to want, its a bad thing to force.

 donttreadoncat: now, with that being said, I only have 30 min of internet and a LOT to get done

  I wasn't forcing, I gave my opinion, did I not?

10:20 PM me: so go get it done, those of us continuing the "LOCALIZE" part of the fight will be here when you get back

 donttreadoncat: am I not local enough for you Kev?

 me: Local is a buzz word for you

 donttreadoncat: cause I've handed out over 10k fliers MYSELF in StL since being here

10:21 PM wow, that really hurts my feelings

 me: congratulations, here's a cookie

 donttreadoncat: I guess my efforts in Missouri and StL and and KC don't matter

  why are you treating me like this kevin?

 me: You're not in KC

 donttreadoncat: what exactly did I do that has you so upset?

 me: I am

 donttreadoncat: no, I"m not, but I was

  and when i was there I put in a LOT at the local level

 me: so why is everything I do in KC not good enough

 donttreadoncat: what are you talking about?

  I've been telling everyone how proud I am of you

  how you inspired me with the End the Fed stuff

10:22 PM I was literally in tears when I was watching those videos

  Your email made me cry today because you were literally inspiring me

10:23 PM and I was typing a response, while I was here in the coffeeshop

  and then yo ustarted freaking out on me

  and I am very confused

  and I am sorry I upset you

  It was not intentional

10:24 PM I care about you and respect you and look up to you

 me: well I've come out against these name and logo issues a thousand times

 donttreadoncat: and I also respect if you want to step down

10:25 PM This is the first the logo has ever been addressed that I am aware of

 me: I will not participate in them further

 donttreadoncat: I agree that we don't need to be image contientious the way rich deyoung would like

  but I don't think asking folks to keep our logo the same and to keep our acutal name the same and to stick to our core issues is asking to much

  there's no point in having an org after that

 me: It was one image to play into the holiday spirit, in the way Google does with their logo

  Ok

 donttreadoncat: So, if that is a line in the sand for you, I understand

 me: so lets not then

10:26 PM I'd rather not have an org than be anal about the things that make us an org

 donttreadoncat: OKay that's fine, if the logo is being edited I'd like it to be of the same graphic calibur that the origional is

  Okay

  I'll keep running LRP, you can do whatever you'd like, Kev. I wish it was with LRP and I'm sorry this is such a major issue for you

  as I said I respect you and your decisions and look forward to how we can work together in the future, in or our of LRP

10:27 PM me: Okay, so all the work I've done on fliers and the website is not up to standard and should be removed immediately

  god forbid it conflict with the brand

 donttreadoncat: sigh

10:28 PM I don't know how to have a constructive conversation when you speak to me like this

  I see nothing on the website that is an issue, can you tell me specficially what you are referring to?

  and on the flier, lets just put the regular logo

 me: the things I did

10:29 PM donttreadoncat: I see no changes to the logo on the website, maybe I"m missing it

  can you please direct me there

 me: the website will return to its previous state and I will buy the remaining "Globalists" shirts from Kriss if thats what the group decides

10:30 PM god forbid LRP sell anything I design

10:31 PM Again this goes beyond the logi

  logo

  as I said, is the website not an "official document?"

 donttreadoncat: Kevin, where is the logo changed on the website?

  and we LOVE the globalist shirts

  what are you talking about

10:32 PM I feel like you are taking a business opinion about the logo as a personal attack on you

  I am very confused

  WHERE on the website is the logo changed?

 me: ok so my "shitty" graphic work is okay when Catherine approves

 donttreadoncat: NO

  jeeze

 me: stfu about the logo

 donttreadoncat: I am ONLY talking about the logo

  stop talking to me like that

  please

 me: I am talking about the "image" discussion

10:33 PM donttreadoncat: I gave my opinion on the logo and you are spinning this into something it doesn't have to be

 me: which starts at the logo but includes everything else I've tried to do for this goddamn organization

 donttreadoncat: you are acting like I am trashing your ABILITY TO CREATE and I all am saying is I think the LOGO needs to be consistent, the end

  no it does not

  you are projecting that

  it starts and ends with the logo

  if I am somehow making you feel otherwise I am sorry, I feel like I am being clear

10:34 PM me: "OK lets talk branding - on official documents"

  your words

  not mine

  I dont fit this "Brand"

  I dont fit any "Brand"

10:35 PM and if you disagree with my designing, then please choose a better way to describe the issue because this shit is pissing me off

 donttreadoncat: no, the edited logo I don't like sorry

  I am sorry I used that word

10:36 PM me: so, part B

 donttreadoncat: (I do wish you could take a deep breath and talk to me before yelling)

 me: Is myspace and facebook not an official way LRP communicates

  ?

10:37 PM donttreadoncat: well, since it's not the official website I didn't say anything

  we do officially communicate that way, yes

  but its a bit more informal

  what are your thoughts?

10:38 PM me: my thoughts

  "OK lets talk branding - on official documents...."

10:39 PM "I've not said a word about the Facebook / MySpace, etc... But I do agree that on anything "official" we need to stick to the original logo - for consistency, for branding,"

  so I guess I'll stop promoting LRP on either of those channels

10:40 PM donttreadoncat: ??

  stop promoting LRP because you don't want to use the official logo?

  Kev, if this is the line in the sand, then draw it, I don't kwno what else to say

 me: no because you dont respect it as an official part of our organization

10:41 PM I feel like my hard work is going into the shitter

10:42 PM I feel like the things I do are always going to have a top down feel

5 minutes

10:48 PM donttreadoncat: ????

  I don't respect it as an official part of our organization, but it is a TOOL for our organjizatoin

  Howso?

  I don't say a word about any of the stuff you are doing, other than bragging aobut y'all

  cause I'm proud of you

10:49 PM What hard work do you feel like is going down the shitter?

  I thought you were super excited about stuff, I was too, having you excited again was pumping me up

  now I feel like shit

  and am crying on my vacation

  and not getting any work done cause I'm crying and trying to figure out what the FUCK "Im doing wrong

  how I piss you off so easily

10:50 PM I don't dictate a THING TO YOU - I just gave my opinion on the logo and that turned into this?

 me: I am excited, thats why I'm trying to make things fun

 donttreadoncat: this is not fun

  I was just giving my opinion

  and you flipped out on me

  and it is an opinion that is obviously shared by a few of our members

10:51 PM me: okay

  I agree on the one issue

  but this is an argument about fundamentals

  you are putting the logo and name before the family

 donttreadoncat: It shouldn't be an argument, the only person arguing is you

  I'm trying to talk

  that is NOT TRUE

10:52 PM I'm trying to make sure people recognize the family

  that is TIT

  *it

  You are projecting that on me

  I made one comment

  and you ahve subsequently made me feel like shit and made me feel bad for taking 6 fucking hours to see the biggest waves since the 60s to hit here on a freak chance that I am here

  you know I give LRP like 16 hours a day

  literally

10:53 PM and gave 10 yesterday, on my vacation

  that I am paying for

  not lrp

  so I don't HAVE to be doing LRP stuff at all

  but I'd prefer to make sure nothing slips thorugh the cracks, not to mention I ENJOY my LPR work

  I enjoy it until someone treats me poorly

  and tries to make me feel guilty for having a life outside of LRP for one week

  and curses at me

  and projects untruths on me

10:54 PM it is not fair and you have hurt my feelings

  and I hope this can be addressed differently in the future.

 me: woe

  is

  you

  .

10:55 PM I'm not trying to attack you

  dont paint it that way

 donttreadoncat: "woe is you" that is condesending and counter producting

 me: so is whining

 donttreadoncat: prodicutive

  I'm not whining, Kev

  I'm speaking honestly

10:56 PM I am going to cease this conversation until you can speak to me professionally

  and kindly

  and respectuflly

 me: I tried

 donttreadoncat: I am doing that for you, even though you are not treating me well

 me: you want to make this personal

 donttreadoncat: no you did not

 me: this is not personal

 donttreadoncat: you flipped out on me from the get go

 me: this is about your "professional" manner

  I did?

 donttreadoncat: my professional mannor?

10:57 PM me: I recall being told that my work wasn't good enough and that 50% of my work was being done through an unofficial method

 donttreadoncat: yes, your reaction to my opinion on the logo has been a major and unneeded flipout

  wow

  okay

  I told you ONE EDIT TO A LOGO I DIDN'T LIKE

  and that the social netoworking sites are just that, social networking sites

 me: you didnt say "I dont like"

 donttreadoncat: that we use, tools

 me: you said it wasnt brand worthy

 donttreadoncat: Not for the logo, no

  it is my opinion

10:58 PM and I was being honest

  and I was not attacking you

  but you obviously are taking it that way

  I'm not going to fight

 me: and I am being honest, you want me to attack you, quit playing the victim

 donttreadoncat: lol okay kevin, I don't know what to say anymore

  Let me know what you decide

  I don't feel like I have been unreasonable

10:59 PM me: well

  youre being told differently

  and you dont like it

  so you percieve it as an attack

 donttreadoncat: no it is HOW you are communicating with me Kevin, that's it

  I am fine with you disagreeing with me

 me: sorry if you take it that way but I am being honest and I wont play the victim or sugar coat things to persuade people

 donttreadoncat: not how you are communicating with me

  no you are being mean

11:00 PM and I'm done

  let me know what you decide

  bye

 me: maybe that needs to happen from time to time

  sometimes things sound or feel mean

  I told you already what I decided

  I told you months ago

  I thought we had an understanding

  but we didnt

11:01 PM so I will pay LRP back and give up the phone and I want my name off the front page of the website by next tuesday

  Once this started to resemble a top down org I am done.

  period

11:02 PM bye.

11:03 PM donttreadoncat: I respectfully request permission to paste this conversation in its entirely to the group so people are aware of exactly what was said and can decide to follow you or say based on the same line.

11:04 PM the CORE GROU ONLY not anyone else

 me: "decide to follow"

  I want no followers

  I will make no drama

11:05 PM I'm not a followed kind of guy

 donttreadoncat: Okay since you are not giving me an answer I am letting you know I am sending this conversation in its entirety to the group. Thank you for everything you have done for LRP. It has been wonderful fighting by your side, I hope our paths cross soon

 me: but do as you wish

11:06 PM I appreciate your attempt to be nice, but please refrain from insincerity

11:07 PM and I hope I can stay as far from you as possible, so as not to be affected by your "opinions" any more.----------------------------Just for the record.

I don't want any hard feelings coming out of this, I am severing ties and that is that.  I still plan on being a casual member of LRP if you do not force me out.

Regarding the Woe Is You comment.....

1. You're in Hawaii - don't make it sound like you're having a hard time
2. Yes you're on your "Personal Vacation"...guess what I did on my "personal vacation"?
3. You travel ALOT. Do you not leisure on every one of your trips, whether the trip is provided by LRP or not?
4. I hold down a full time job PLUS did LRP full time. Often doing both at the same time, so whining about how many hours you devote to LRP does not sway me.
5. My main problem is that you couldn't see my point. I was not angry about one opinion of one flier. I was angry about the casual way that you can use the language of a corporate entity when referring to my work.  I kept trying to get across to you that it's not healthy to the organization to care more about the looks of your organization's logo than you do about whether or not there is someone willing to do the work to place that logo on an "official document"
6. I will admit that my implosion of anger upon you was perhaps sudden, but we've had discussions before about how structured LRP should be, and I so did not want to have to re-hash it after the 2 week depression I've had over LRP.
6b. You see, the last few weeks I keep running into former-active members of LRP. They are a constant reminder of how this once great organization is falling apart at the seams, and that I, the person, am unable to glue it back together.  These are people who have had similar disagreements about your travels being more important than the local fight. I'm sorry if that sounds cocky, but you are trying to run an organization, and one day you don't have your phone, and instead of getting caught up on things once obtaining your phone, you chose to do leisure activities while I was trying to promote your fundraiser that was being passed off as a holiday party.
7. The KC Core Team had begun planning a holiday party. Multiple ones in fact, as we had done last year. I went out of the way to try to include you. When your schedule conflicted with our plans, I could have held our party on the 17th anyway and said screw Catherine, but I didn't. I tried to work things out between you and Ed, and when Ed became unresponsive, I do not have his phone number, and asked if you did.  THE NEXT THING I KNOW you're talking about your friends' bar and planning our party for us. Over the last week, I was still unsure of the details and called several times for our plans to be hashed out asap.
8. For days I was waiting for a reply on Wave before you communicated that you did not have access.
9. I had hoped you would have checked email sometime yesterday prior to the KC meeting, as I sent out a query about having a conference call. Sorry, I should have called you and demanded one.
10. When the above attempts were unsuccessful I took what little details you had confirmed and worked my ass off to get a flier done in 20 minutes to try to help an event that I did not support, so that I could promote it at another event that I did not support. I'd like to think that that was a sign of dedication and wishes that even an event that I do not support goes well for the team, because that's what a team player does.
11. I never meant to come off as angry, I just started that way, and when you couldn't see how narrow of a vision it is to hold a logo so close to your heart, an image, a digital representation of what you want to view as "LRP" it only made me angrier and I'm sorry.
12. It's as I kept telling Tracy yesterday, LRP is not We Are Change. WeAreChange are not a logo, they are people and action. They are not a name, they are not recognition. They are recognized only by the fruits of their labour. The name of that organization is only known because the people involved care enough to put that name on their hard work. Just as I hoped the LRP logo would only be recognized by putting it on our work. When you tell a person that their work is not worthy of your brand it puts the brand above the person. When I start my own organization, I will encourage everyone to spread my logo, make their own versions, and if a 3 year old retarded kid wants to draw it in crayon, then I will gladly put it on the front page of my website. That is how you go viral.
13. This talk of a Chicago chapter, and the previous failures of expansion show clearly that LRP is not capable of having chapters for these very reasons. Your "Identity" has become more important to the leadership than the fight. and dare I say Catherine's ability to support her friends and family through LRP is more important also.
14. In reality LRP has become 3 chapters. And while Catherine owns LRP, LRP does not own Catherine.  Much of your "Activism" can be done with or without the "Brand" which is why in the conversation I had with you, I brought up the fact that while I submit my design work to the group, You do not.
15. I write this out of boredom and reflection, a freight train of hard work for the organization came to a sudden stop last night, and now I can only reflect on how I can expand in a constructive positive way on the negative things I relayed last night. Much love to everyone involved, I apologize deeply that this relationship had to end dramatically, even though drama was the one thing that could drive me away.

You're just a Radical Utopian

Anyone who has ever expressed a political belief based on freedom more than 5 times, has most likely heard the phrase "You're just a utopian." or "You're such an idealist" It's a frequent dismissal used in debate. Often, it is meant to be an ad hominem meant to end the debate with a baseless insult, or perhaps a slightly related insult.

But what does that phrase mean, exactly? How often do we really think about what Utopia means to us?

from Dictionary.com:
Utopia - U·to·pi·a  [yoo-toh-pee-uh] Noun
1. an imaginary island described in Sir Thomas More's Utopia (1516) as enjoying perfection in law, politics, etc.
2. an ideal place or state.
3. any visionary system of political or social perfection.

For a moment, let's all act like we're children, first learning about these concepts. Being Utopian can seem very noble. What inspired person wouldn't want to work toward an ideal, visionary, socially perfect system? Ok back to adult time. It has become an insult because we, as adults, refuse to believe such a place is un-attainable.

We believe this, because we as a race, have seen the complete spectrum of political ideas. This is the reason our Founding Fathers in America penned "More Perfect Union" in the Constitution preamble instead of "Perfect Union." After months of debate on our form of governing, they debated over every aspect of a governed society and tried to make perfection, but instead understood that the closest we can come to perfection, is only close to perfection, because it has the freedom of imperfections.

I first encountered the word "Utopia" from an episode of Star Trek. See:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Justice_(Star_Trek:_The_Next_Generation)

(Spoilers) In the episode, the crew first arrives on a planet that seems to have NO conflict, violence, pollution, etc. Although after one of the crew steps in a "No Walking" area, and is sentenced to death, the crew is told that utopia is only attainable with draconian and violently strict laws.

Perhaps this episode of Star Trek has influenced me, I may be biased. But I frequently think of this when I hear world views that some may reference as "Utopian."

For instance. There is a documentary film out called "Zeitgeist: Moving Forward" It appears to offer freedom in many areas....however, if you examine the "Path" that they offer to get there...it seems to be advocating some force out there controlling the use of weapons and resources.

For me, that IS the insult. To believe that the path to Freedom is through control. Not only control, but control by forces that we believe to be influenced by oppressive factors.

I recently seen a quote online that sparked this rant. "Call for disarmament and those who support killing will call you a radical. Call for a resource based economy, and those who believe in infinite consumption of resources will call you Utopian."

I bring this up because it is related to my views above, but more closely it is Absolutist.

The problem with talking politics with ANYONE is that everyone is a goddamned absolutist.

Some say "You have to Ban weapons to stop killing." O RLY? How about we just stop using them to kill? It's a myth. You ban weapons, there will still be killing. You have to ban every sharp object on the goddamned planet, and even then people will be finding ways to commit violent acts.

The Zeitgeist people believe that all violence is resource related. So get violent people with guns....or even worse...technology programmed by those people....to redistribute how ALL resources are gathered and used?? Yeah I trust them to give me my share....after all that's the way it's working now, AMIRITE? /sarcasm

On the other end of the political spectrum.......actually....fuck that....on the SAME GODDAMN SPOT on the political spectrum are ANARCHISTS.

I am a Constitutional libertarian. I am all the time hearing the insults from the anarchists. "Diet-statist" "You just think that a smaller boot on your neck is okay" .....you get the point.

It is the belief that complete absence of a government is the ticket to Utopia.

Another Absolutist belief.

Lets examine these two political beliefs further. I have made some observations on beliefs that they are based on and examined them against logical fallacies. While I believe these two beliefs make a large number of logical points, and they have the problems of society narrowed down better than most political beliefs out there. But their absolutism is based on the belief that Humans are most logical beings. Which is the biggest logical fallacy I've ever known. Humans are based on emotion, as much as logic and incentive.

The Venus Project/Zeitgeist Movement is based on the belief that control transformation of resources to eliminate resource scarcity will end the need for violence in society. This is a logical fallacy because while scarcity is indeed a contributing cause for violence, the Zeitgeisters refuse to accept that Emotional motivators are a bigger factor. I heard an interview with Peter Joseph, founder and creator of the Zeitgeist films and movement, where he said "I don't believe in inherently born Evil or Sin." This is a problem to me.

Anyone in America has seen stories of lovers scorned committing acts of violence. 1. This IS a scarcity issue, scarcity of love. Not an issue "Control" or "Technology" is likely to fix without altering human free will. Which is NOT the answer. 2. This scarcity issue would not create a necessity for violence issue if not for the Emotional component.

This is an unusual point of view for me for other reasons. If the ability to eliminate Scarcity is possible, and it would not effect those who control things now, and there is no such thing as "Evil" motives, Why doesn't this already happen without some control mechanism?

Your Logic is based on absolutism, Your absolutism is based on ideals that humans will act in a logically non-flawed manner, Your logic is flawed.

Pure Anarchy is based on the belief that Controlling mechanisms allowed and encouraged by laws, enforced by force, limit the freedom to do as you wish, and that the majority of humans just want to be left alone and will respect the rights of others, and the right to defend one's self will work out the rest of any rights violations.
Just as Zeitgeisters believe Scarcity is the most absurd thing about society, Anarchists believe Government Supported Violence and the threat thereof has become the problem. They believe that the concept of a "Social contract" (belief that by existing in a community, makes you somewhat responsible for that community, including obeying the agreed upon rules of the community) is limiting to freedom.

This is a logic problem for me, because many of the people who espouse this belief, tends to overuse the words "Force" "Violence" and "Abuse"

Well if the intended government is supposed to be comprised of, and ran by, human beings....ones who live in those same communities....would they not be capable of similar "Force, Violence, and Abuse" if they did not have their "titles of nobility" given to them as supposed credible members of the community servicing bodies? The concept of a government is simply the "Justice" side of "Liberty and Justice" While the two concepts are opposing, they are NOT mutually exclusive, as long as you are NOT dealing in absolute terms.

As such, It's "We the people" who allowed these violent criminals to take over and re-write our laws. I partly blame these people who have given up on "the State" and their voting and oversight duties. Unless everyone on earth becomes an introverted hermit and never deals with another human being, there will be conflicts even without a "State". Again, sometimes based on resources, property, and the tangible....sometimes driven by emotions, insanity, and the illogical. As such, the effected persons will need a conflict resolution mechanism. A "Justice" system if you will.

Such a mechanism has no effectiveness unless its' rulings have some kind of incentive. (Government's Carrot and Stick that Anarchists hate so much). The Absolutist point of view of Anarchists that there is no difference between ABUSE of force and a justified community USE of force against one individual: to take down violent killers, to decide that you don't have a "right" to rape your children. A justice system is to allow the community to agree by which criteria an individual can act as a consenting, compassionate, logical, individual. As opposed to assuming self-sovereignty of someone who lacks the ability to consent and is abused, or lacks the ability of logic and is an abuser.

If there is no community "Justice" or "Conflict resolution" system, then conflicts would be solved by the "Bigger Gun" syndrome. (Whoever has the most violent force will force their interests, often through having deadlier weapons, more weapons, more people to use force, or more violent people)

If the problem with Government is "Force, Violence, and Abuse" And I am having such a difficult time imagining a "Utopia" where conflict is NOT resolved with some kind of Force, then I lay that logical challenge to Anarchists. Find a way where there will not be a "Controlling Violent Force" resolving the conflicts please.

But that is the problem I see with these "Utopian" forms of society that people promote. It's always the "End Game" they are promoting, and rarely have a rational backbone or strategy of bringing about such of an end game. Which only furthers the view that such beliefs are "imaginary" and "improbable", and why "Utopian" will continue to be an insult.

Zeitgeisters and Anarchists cannot simply wave a magic wand and have people stop being violent criminals. They cannot simply wave a magic wand and stop rapists from raping and murderers from killing. Absolutist beliefs that absence of Scarcity and absence of community sponsored force will cure the ills of all of society will do nothing but empower those who want more control. It's part of the parlor trick known as distraction. While one group is focused on Ending controlling governance, and another group is focused on giving them ultimate control in hopes that they will end scarcity and suffering, the "real Utopians" are working to enforce the true solution. The one promised by the Founding Fathers. I am not saying that they had the best intentions, or the "perfect solution," but it was the "more perfect solution."

Want to know why I believe that? Because it is the one solution that says "We the people." You have the power. Anarchists preach "Self Governance" but few believe that is possible within a structured system with the capabilities to remove freedoms from those who cannot use logic and consent to exercise those freedoms responsibly. Government is "Something Else," not "We the People." Zeitgeisters believe that we have to submit to spying on each other and use technology to control our own use of resources. Again, believing that governance is something other than the freedom of YOUR choice.

I am a Constitutionalist Libertarian and Utopian because The Constitution of the United States, The Bill of Rights, and our entire nation was built on the belief that you are responsible for your community. Don't like the laws? Become a lawmaker or get your own lawmakers elected. Don't like the courts? Volunteer for Jury duty. Don't like the enforcement of the Police forces? Become a cop.

Now, I submit to the arguments against that last paragraphs. It is indeed too late for any of those things to happen. Those institutions have become too controlled. Our current form of government is mostly a lost cause.

But why have they gotten so bad?

For the same argument I use against the absolutist reasons I try to debunk here.

"Abuse vs. Use vs. Neglect"

Think of Government as a Large Breed Dog.

Now I don't want to get into a big ass debate on Nature vs. Nurture, I will just say here that I believe both are factors, and that Aggression comes both from instinct that all living beings have to protect their perceived interests (unless psychological abuse has damaged that instinct) AND from Neglecting to properly love (emotionally and physically care for a living being in a healthy manner)

A Large dog, if loved, respected, trained, and understood, will generally be tame, especially to its owners and family. A Large dog, left alone, neglected, abused, will usually be more protective and aggressive, and will not respect commands.

You don't neglect your big dog. It might bite someone. You don't abuse your big dog. It might one day snap and bite you. You don't encourage your dog to abuse someone else. It becomes trained to bite and may one day bite the innocent.

However, a big dog can offer protection. A big dog can be loyal. A big dog can be an extension of your identity and family. A big dog can follow your direction if you respect it, are responsible with it, responsible for it, and it respects you. If you train it properly and love it.

Same goes for Government. Train it properly, be responsible for it, be its master. Keep it on a leash. Don't let it run around humping and biting the whole neighborhood.

That is my "Utopia." Just follow the goddamn Constitution. Government should only use force or remove someone's freedoms when absolutely necessary and the slight threat of that should keep at least the logical people from abusing each other, and should only do so if the community agrees.

The one difference I have from a purely constitutional belief, is that I believe in "Neighborhood" governments (which is entirely possible under the constitution). I don't think Federal, State, or Local governments are small enough to deal with individual criminal and civil cases in a proper, uniquely individual manner.

The difference between this "Unlikely Utopian" belief and the others? They all three require a Critical Mass of people to all at once demand change in society....but the constitutional plan already has the infrastructure, rules, and philosophies in place. The difference between now and then will be the focus, personnel, and attitude. What changes is "We The People" get downright responsible. I find it unfortunate that the Founding Fathers weren't more vocal about their intention of the People to be the fourth branch of government with its oversight and removal checks and balances. You should be as responsible for your Government as you are for your dog or your children. But then again, Peter Joseph thinks society should care for each other's children, and Murray Rothbard didn't think you should be legally responsible for your children.

But still, I challenge those who support these two beliefs to come up with those steps to work toward their "Utopia" from our current place in society, or at least a plan starting from day 0 of the removal of our current system. And do so without just assuming that Harmful and Criminal behavior will just cease with the disbanding of our controlling mechanisms. Come up with a failsafe in case you are wrong. While I agree that dependence on our failed policies is one of the biggest problems, It is still one that requires solving. Come up with a logical way of spreading the word to our society about replacements for our Socialist force based welfare charity. Come up with a logical way to TRANSITION from a Corporatist society to one where your economic views can flourish, without millions of people dying. Come up with a way where we don't need the things you're trying to get rid of, while you're getting rid of them.

Maybe it's my view of Responsibility that is Absolutist and Utopian. Maybe I'm wrong.

Perceptions on current events.

The 2012 election cycle is in full swing there is just one problem. I see a whole lot of republicans and so far, nobody else. There are protesters in the streets, but they're leftists. The occupation, is waning.

We have not, in modern times, truly had a sustainable continuous opposition to the mainstream 2 party system, other than the ron paul revolution, and even they are divided between anarchists, constitutionalists, foreign policy leftist, and the few actual conservatives who got on board with conservatism instead of neoconservatism.

It seems, that the third parties are waiting to see what Republicans do, It seems that no Democrat will shake the party line and force Obama to actually run to keep the Democratic nomination.

Not that I expected any of that to happen, but it's almost 2012, I believe that it's time to think outside the box, and not necessarilly do anything radical, but do the unexpected.

Organic movements grow out of organic ideas, and just as the ron paul movement sprouted in 2007, I believe politics needs a refreshining. Over the past decade, activists, independent journalism, and the few statesmen we have left in government, have fought with every strategy imaginable against the corruption and tyranny.

I don't mean to be an armchair quarterback, but merely a compass hoping to point some more powerful people in the right direction. For more innovative ideas, Check out some of the things that Michael Badnarik is involved in recently. to bring together freedom minded people, does not take a genius, to try strategies that failed before in a better more thoughtful and planned way, does not take a rocket surgeon, just someone with guts.

Occupied,

It's about time this nation stands up. All major cities are now doing their constitutional duties and rising up in solidarity with one another against corporatocracy. Please join. http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=260841710622215